THE PARADOX IN HELPING PEOPLE
Planting without expecting growth
When we help people it is because we want to see them do well, grow and progress in life. But humans as we are, this is not always the case. Sometimes there is this condiment of selfishness, fear, insecurity, ego and powerplay in the mix.
Sometimes people help you so that they can feel fulfilled and good about themselves. Though they give to you, their focus is not on what the giving is supposed to do to you but how the giving is going to make them feel about themselves. That is why when you start growing, some of them become surprised because they were not expecting. Some become worried because they fear you might not need them again. Some also become insecure because they don’t want you to become powerful like them. But often it is because they fear that when you succeed, you will no longer require them and they might become less important to you.
For some people, giving to you is what makes them feel superior, relevant, and important. That is why such people can redraw or limit any help they give to you as soon as they realize their help is making you powerful and independent.
So yes, sometimes people help you but their help is more for themselves than it is for you, so they don’t expect you to grow beyond a certain level. You may experience this if you are someone who is very good at managing resources or someone carrying the blessing of God. The blessing is the ability to produce wealth. It is a multiplying and increasing anointing. The man who is blessed by God can turn little help and opportunities into something great.
There is a popular proverb in Ghana which says “The one who climbs a good tree deserves to be pushed further up. (Nea oforo dua pa na yepia no). Just like it happened in The Parable Of The Talents. The one who invested his five talents and produced 5 more was given more because he made good use of the talents. But when the people you consider to be your helpers turn out to be insecure people, instead of them pushing you up, they might redraw their ladder from you so that you won’t be able to climb further up.
Isaac and Abimelek
The relationship between Isaac and Abimelek king of the Philistines in Genesis 26 is also a good example. Jacob and his family was allowed to live peacefully on Philistines’ land. Abimelek the king was so kind to Jacob that he told all the people that anyone who harms this man or his wife shall surely be put to death. A time came and there was famine in the land but Isaac planted crops in that land and the same year reaped a hundredfold because the Lord blessed him. The man became rich, and his wealth continued to grow until he became very wealthy. He had so many flocks and herds and servants that the Philistines envied him. Then Abimelek said to Isaac, “Move away from us; you have become too powerful for us.”
Finally, when someone helps you to grow and progress in life, don’t become ungrateful or turn against the person. I believe this is one of the major reasons why some people would like to support others but don’t want to see them rise to a certain level because they fear they might change or turn against them. And it was the same fear Abimelek had about Isaac. So in Genesis 26: 26-29, Abimelek came to Isaac from Gerar, with Ahuzzath his adviser, and Phicol the commander of his forces, and said “We saw clearly that the Lord was with you; so we said, ‘There ought to be a sworn agreement between us—between us and you. Let us make a treaty with you that you will do us no harm, just as we did not harm you but always treated you well and sent you away peacefully. And now you are blessed by the Lord.”