When you engage in sex before marriage, you are very likely to be consumed by passion and lust. And you are likely to be blinded by your feelings. This usually prevents you from paying attention to the many fundamental issues that make relationships or marriage work and last. The lust and feelings clog your head and prevent you from thinking clearly about this person to find out 1. Whether you truly love the person or not? 2. Whether he or she is really the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with or not? 3. Whether your love goes beyond certain transient things about the person or not? So you are convinced that even if those things that attract you to the person fades, you still want to be with this person. You find something permanent about the person and personality that you like and makes you stay in the relationship. Because feelings and pleasures don’t last. They come and go, they increase and decrease. You can’t take marriage decisions solely and mainly based on feelings and pleasure.
Sex before marriage can blind and prevent you from thinking about the long term goals of the relationship. It blinds you from seeing the bigger picture. Because your flesh with its desires is so much at work to the extent that all you care about is to satisfy your immediate desires and feelings. Such kind of relationships tends to put the self first. But love is not selfish; lust is. Your mind is handicapped by your feelings so you can’t even think straight.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9.
So when you finally go into marriage based on this preexisting passion and drive for sex, very soon this drive and passion will subside, giving way to the fundamental issues your lust and feelings blinded you from seeing. Then you begin to now try to address those issues in marriage when you could have addressed them before marriage. But you were busy having sex. So when you try fixing them in the marriage and they don’t work, it generates problems and confusion in marriage. The other partner begins to think you have changed because you are asking for changes in attitudes and habits that have been there from the beginning. But the truth was that you couldn’t see those warning signs because you were so blinded by your feelings. You were just busy having sex before marriage.
IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO CHANGE AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT.