COMMUNICATE, TALK ABOUT THE REAL ISSUES BEFORE MARRIAGE.
Remember those days when we used to write letters to the person we were madly in love with? And the letter took days, weeks and months before it reached the person? Do you remember the stress we sometimes went through just to write something that will impress the person we were in love with? And we usually did that with the help of a dictionary, hahaha!! I won’t forget the anxiety that lingered after the letter had been sent. Anxiety about whether the person has received the letter or not? And has the person replied? If he or she has, when is the reply arriving? And what at all will be her reply to that romantic letter you sent? hmm! enough of that. Do you also remember yahoo messenger? Yes, those were the times internet cafes were common. We went to the cafe as well to message our loved ones through yahoo messenger. But thank God for mobile phones today. All these stress and anxieties are over! Getting in touch with the one we love is now a simple phone call away which should aid communication in relationships a great deal.
However, it is shocking to realize that one of the topmost killers of relationships today is the lack of effective communication. One would think that the coming of technology like mobile phones and these numerous social media platforms will make communication easier and smoother. But surprisingly, it hasn’t been the case in many ways. It has brought some lack of trust, suspicion, jealousy, bitterness and dishonesty on the side of communication in relationships. So we now have communication problems in relationships like:
1. You didn’t pick my calls and you didn’t return my calls too?
2. Who is that on your status?
3. You have never used me for your DP or status before?
4. You don’t call, WhatsApp or text me?
5. You haven’t replied to my WhatsApp message, yet you have been online?
6. Why don’t you want us to do a video chat? Is it that you are hiding someone in your room or what?
Sometimes when dating or courting, we are so much overprotective of the love we have for each other and so we don’t want to talk about anything that is likely to rock the boat or open the pandora’s box. When you meet you shy away from talking about the real issues that are important to you and the things that are important in making a lasting relationship and marriage. So you don’t communicate enough to even know each other well. You dodge the important questions and topics. When you meet it’s all about romance, the sex that blinds you, the gifts, flowers and all the sweet sweet nice things you want and dream about in a relationship. So you never get to address the critical issues. But remember that you can not dodge the critical issues in relationships forever. You can allow sleeping dogs to lie, but remember they won’t be sleeping forever. A time will come when the fire, passion, enthusiasm and romance and sex will ebb in marriage. That is when all the real issues you shied away from when you were dating may come back to haunt you in the marriage. You begin to face issues in your marriage that you could have addressed during your dating or courting period if you had discussed them together and were honest about them. It is far better to lose your partner during dating than to lose him or her in marriage. Be bold. Be confident. Be positive about the future together. Bible says the man and the woman shall become one. If you are able to communicate in the relationship to make sure both of you are on the same page, I don’t think any issue will come that will be too much for you guys to handle. There is strength in unity and togetherness. Have a conversation.